Monday, March 24, 2014

Dear Winter, Bugger Off.

I just had to vent.  Winter has become annoying, overstayed its welcome and has become that depressed friend who went through a break up or something equally "get over it"-able and just stays and stays at your place, constantly going through the fridge looking for pop or beer and sitting around in a dirty housecoat, greasy haired and dull-eyed, watching mind-numbing daytime talk shows and soaps while intermittently scratching his belly.

Either that, or winter has become an aggressive bully who won't leave us alone or believe us that we really don't have any lunch money in our pockets and keeps coming around to shake us upside down every day, just in case.  Except in our case, it seems to only be on a Wednesday/Thursday schedule.

It has its mood swings.

I feel that having watched this winter season closely and becoming really familiar with its temperament and patterns, I feel that I am now somewhat proficient in the ways of Winter 2013-2014 (at least I think it is going to wrap up in 2014...sometime...) and am thus as qualified as those TV meteorologists to make a prediction of my own on the approaching storm:

The forecast for the Maritimes for the next few days:
Sunny and cold on Tuesday with some cute fluffy clouds later in the day, depositing quaint, picturesque, fairydust-like snowflakes now and again.
We will see a change in weather patterns on Wednesday with apocalyptic conditions bringing hurricane force winds, snowfall of Biblical proportions, zombies, darkness and despair.
These conditions will carry over into Thursday with possibility of power outages and any connection to outside civilization being cut off. No one will be coming to help us so prepare your survivalist kits accordingly, sharpening your stakes and axes as well as your snowblower blades.
I hate this winter.
Friday will be sunny and plus 1.

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