Monday, April 7, 2014

Fostering Failure - We Tried to Foster a Cat...We Tried Really Hard

Because this is very close to my heart and brings me so much joy, I decided that even though I wrote and posted this just a short time ago, I really wanted repost this for the "F" entry so I could share it with everyone in the A to Z Challenge.  

This poor kitty has no home, they said.  Her owner passed away and she got loose, they said.  We can't leave her alone out there in the woods with winter and the coyotes.  

Would someone foster her, my friend with cat allergies asked the world on Facebook.  

I hesitated.  I kept going back to the picture of her over and over.  She was cute.  We can't really afford a pet right now.  But I thought it would be nice to have this little, warm, furry creature in our home just for a little while.  I missed having a cat in my life.  I knew if I mentioned it to my husband though, the answer would be no. 

So I chose to do the right thing.  I messaged my friend and started typing about how much I would like to take her but...  Then I deleted the word "but", and long story short, after a trip to my friend's place, I did what my brother and I did with our cats in the past when still living with Mom and Dad.  I said nothing but just showed up at home with her, was immediately met with complete shock, resistance, and a resounding "We are not keeping that!" from my husband.  (Pffft...I have heard THAT song and dance before...piece of cake!)  Then I did with him what I did with my parents in the past.  I threw her into his arms and backed away.

What is this place?  Where am I?

No way am I coming out from back here!
I let him know that it was not going to be permanent.  I explained her story and how she had been in the woods already for quite some time and how lucky it is she was even still alive.  He begrudgingly let his guard down a little when he realized we were only fostering her.

With my parents years ago, it took about 10 minutes before the ice completely melted and they were head over heels in love with our cats.  My husband though, is made of different stuff and set a new record on the time it took before he completely melted into a big pile of affectionate goo under the spell of this pretty kitty cat.  He lasted an entire 30 seconds.
This guy was a pushover!
Ah!  Another cat victory for me!!

But don't get me wrong.  I was sticking to my guns and was going to find her a good home.  As soon as she was re-socialized and used to being indoors again.  I was even hoping to take her to my mother's place to re-introduce her to dogs as well.  I figured she would be more adoptable if she was comfortable in any situation.
I'm especially comfortable in this situation.
She seemed like a fairly healthy, young, adult cat.  However, there was no way to know her medical history.  So, off to the vet we went to have her assessed and treated because we wanted to give her the best chance she could possibly have at a good, loving home.

Because really, who is going to adopt an adult cat that is going to cost a lot of money since she had no known medical history and was not spayed?  I know I probably wouldn't.  Definitely didn't have the money or time to commit to such a thing right now.

In the end, after one trip for shots and treatment for ear mites, one cycle of the cat having gone into heat, then a second trip to have her spayed, I began to realize I was doing a great job at getting her ready and attractively adoptable to a good, loving home.
I'm sorry, come again, you're taking me where for whatnow?
And that home is us.  We tried to foster a cat and we were already sinking all the money into her that I wouldn't want to sink into a cat I might see posted as up for adoption but that would need all these things done.

We fell for her, hook, line and sinker.  I hear the jingle of the tags on her collar, look at her food dishes with the really healthy cat food we are feeding her, listen to the sound of her purring, and realize...we've been had.  She has been playing us since day one and we didn't stand a chance.
Plotting an uprising and world domination.

We completely failed at fostering a cat.  But she was completely successful at adopting us!
I don't always take over people's lives, but when I do, I lay all over their clothes.


She stood in the doorway looking pensively at the front yard, reminiscing about all the years she had seen come and go in this place, the haunting echoes of her daughter's laughter ringing through the halls of her memory.

She glanced to her left and gazed at the huge old silver maple and saw her five year old daughter hanging upside down from the branch, laughing and holding her skirt in place, defying without defiance in happy tones, trying to convince her mother that she knew what she was doing.

Further up the street, was her daughter cycling around at a lazy pace with her friends as they laughed and giggled then sat up straighter and got quieter, smiling and whispering as a group of boys approached to join them.

To the right, the flower bed stretching out from underneath the lilac bush was the spot where that five-year-old-girl-suddenly-18 posed for her prom pictures in a fiery red gown, grinning from ear to ear while groaning through gritted teeth, begging her mother to "Please make this picture the last one!"

The front walk wound from the steps to the driveway and she watched her daughter's train trail behind her as she glanced back, smiling, urging her mother to hurry up.

Turning back inside, she strolled through, room by room, which didn't take long in this little home.  Everything seemed so empty and the silence was bouncing off the walls.

It had been just the two of them against the world for so long, she wasn't sure what she was going to do now.  She raised an angel, that was for sure, but angels come with wings and wings were meant for flight.

Sinking back down into the chair next to the window, gazing outside, she sighed and took a sip of her tea and thought that since her angel had flown, now it was her time and even after all these years maybe, just maybe, if she gave them a good stretch, her wings might still work too.

Sunday, April 6, 2014


She opened the gift.  She wasn't anti-gift or against dresses but she just didn't want to try it on.

She couldn't stand the sight of it simply because of who gave it to her.  It was expensive, beautiful and everyone was expecting her to accept it without question.  She glared at it as though it were a living thing; a hideous, horrible creature that should be stomped on until there was nothing left.

She sighed and every muscle in her body was tense as she stiffly lifted it from the box.  Clenching her jaw, she slipped it over her head.  Eyes closed, she slowly turned toward the mirror.  She stood very still for a moment then, holding her breath, opened her eyes.

She stared at the reflection before her, rage and frustration welling up, boiling until she let out a furious scream and in a surge of adrenaline, ripped it off over head as fast as she could and whipped it at the wall.

Chocolate, Coughing and Convalescence things were really hectic this week at work and I fell behind with blogging...not a good thing when trying to keep up with a challenge!  However, this weekend, I managed to rest up and am playing catch up.  Looking forward to less stressful weeks ahead and keeping up with my posts!
They are random, that is for sure.  Sometimes, it will be anecdotes and observations from a personal standpoint and other times, like today, short stories.  

She stared longingly at the bag of chocolates.  She was aching to eat one but her appetite was gone.  It was than a lack of appetite, it was the presence of an anti-appetite...there was no emptiness but a sinister sense of fullness constantly reminding her of why she was here.  And that anything she tried to ingest, even chocolate was...due to post-operative gasses causing so much pressure...horribly torturous.

Best to give them to the doctor.  It was only right.  Can't let good chocolate go to waste after all and having it by her bedside taunting her would drive her nuts.  Yes, she definitely will give it to the doctor on his next round to check in on her.  It was Valentine's Day, she had nothing else to give and since he pretty much saved her life, she felt the need to do something in return.

She still can feel the blood rush into her belly, escaping the vein or artery or whatever the hell she had unknowingly wrecked.  Such a small accident too.  She had fallen off her bike at least a zillion times in her life and had even been hurt worse, but never with these consequences.  The whole incident flashed back before her eyes:

The faltering and falling sideways and forward, feeling the handlebar jab her belly...but not that hard, or so she thought at the time.

Sitting in front of the TV that night relaxing, getting up to make tea and then coughing.  The cough of death...sort of.  The cough that caused that small rupture to burst wide and flood her stomach, swelling it instantly.  The instinctual terror that flooded the rest of her body and her mind.  The panicked escape from her apartment to the outside world, stopping strangers in the street to help her.

Then a steel table where doctors (or was there only one?) kept poking her in a desperate attempt to get a blood sample, finally succeeding by tapping a vein in her foot, go figure!

The mask they put over her mouth and nose, soothingly telling her to breathe in deeply and slowly and the fear when she didn't pass out in a nano-second like she thought she should, feeling the doctors marking her body, getting ready to slice her open to free the blood and stop it all at the same time.  Then, best of all, the few seconds of sheer bliss before passing out  (why is this stuff not bottled and sold in convenience stores everywhere?)

Then...the slow healing over the following days, her body pale from head to toe.  Constantly apologizing to doctors and nurses for being a bother because she felt like she should.

The agony after having just a bite or a sip of anything.  The friends coming in bearing more books and food than made sense.  The gratefulness for the care and protection she was getting from everyone around her, especially the doctor who figured it all out and saved her.

Yes, the chocolates were a meagre gesture but it was all she had and it was Valentine's Day.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Beautiful Besties

This is to celebrate the bodacious babes in my life.  I wanted to list some of my friends, the ones who are like the sisters I never got to have growing up.  Then I realized this list would go on forever.  So many amazing women have touched my soul over the years and have left imprints on my heart that will be there forever and who make me realize that having just one best friend is an absolute impossibility!

So to narrow it down for now, I am going to list the women I met after having left my hometown behind me as I ventured out into the world; who have also played a major role in shaping me into the person I have become so far.  But I will do it over the course a few random times in April; to list you all right now, here in one would take ages to do!

So here's to you, my awe-inspiring sisters this is you through my eyes...while this barely scratches the surface of how amazing you really are and what I really think of you (of course I mean that in a nice way!), you will know who you are:

S - One of the kindest, most generous souls I know.  The first time I ever met her, she thrust the plastic baggie from which she was snacking, at me and uttered the first words I ever heard her say, "Hi!  I have some hemp seeds!  Wanna try some?  They're really healthy!  They make you poop, you know!"  And her parting words when she was leaving that day were, "You really need to come to my Fantasia party!"  I knew right then and there through my tears of laughter that she was a kindred spirit and we were going to get along juuuust fine!  She became a really important part of my life and always will be!  I completely admire her, how hard she works, what an amazing mom she is, the deep soul that she has, and most of all I really admire her gigantic heart that is the reason she is always so giving to others and makes a lasting impression on all whose lives she touches!  I am truly blessed to not only know her but to have the privilege of being her friend.

K - Smart, funny, and sarcastic as hell.  We met years ago over the phone, and for a few months, that is exactly how our friendship blossomed - strictly through phone calls.  A mutual friend thought she and I really needed to meet in person because that person felt that K and myself were meant to be.  And it finally happened.  We met face to face for the first time at a party and have never looked back.  From the time she was one of my customers whom I dealt with on a regular basis over the phone, to becoming fast friends at a work/client social event, I will forever count her among my dearest of friends!  (That is so NOT where you thought this was going, is it?  Hahahaha!)  She is one of the fiercest, strongest most independent women I know.  I want to be her.

J - The friend who convinced me to jump into adventure and move to the other side of the world.  She has a laugh that is quite simply larger than life and probably her most identifying feature!  There is never any doubt whose laugh it is when you hear it!  She is a stellar chef who came a long way from the really early days when Kraft Dinner seemed to her a monumental task.  A loooooooong way!  She is sharp, quick-witted and the world's foremost expert on pop culture as well as a bonafide music snob with her own bus to hell (she knows what that means!).  We will always share a wicked grin and a wink whenever we hear the word "sailor".  She leaves joy in her wake no matter where she goes.  She also does everything she sets her mind to...and I mean e v e r y t h i n g; from where she wants to travel to what she chooses as a career.  Her mind supplies the ideas, her actions supply the results.  As simple as that.  She has found her passion in life and everyone should be so lucky.  I admire her, envy her, and am fiercely proud of her.

Y - Beautiful, gentle Y.  Sweet and shy...or so you think until you get to know her!  She exudes class and grace and has an incredible lust for life.  Because of her unassuming nature, she is able to pull one over on others and avoid suspicion until she voluntarily laughs and confirms she is the culprit.  She is a generous soul who, when she knows her friends, she KNOWS her friends and is able to give her friendship, gifts, and time in ways that make you think she knows you better than you know yourself!  When I think of her it will always conjure up memories of my bike, incredible parties with incredible people and food, riding the train on our way to a disco party (one of us wearing an afro wig and the other wearing pigtails), and her musical laugh.  I owe her so much.

R - We met because she drinks wine.  A lot.  Not the "first thing in the morning" a lot, but the "hostess with the mostest" a lot.  She lived near me and the very first time I ever went to the supermarket in Japan and ran into someone I knew (like would have happened back home), she was that someone!  That is when I knew I had "arrived".  Since then, we have shared many meals, lots of cheese, and loads of wine fruit juice (you know, because we are health nuts).  We were easily partners in crime.  Like the crime of ditching our housework to meet up at the river under the cherry blossoms and drink for seven hours.  She is also responsible for having the party at which I met my husband.  She is a fun, free, sunkissed spirit responsible for numerous dance parties in her living room at her apartment.  I miss her so much it hurts!

I promised myself to limit this to five for this go 'round.  I will celebrate more of my "sisters" again very soon...(is this where I add "to be continued..."?)

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Acts of Kindness

Our cat has done nothing but bring joy into our lives.  Well, that and drain our bank account.  But mostly joy...I think.  No wait...yeah, joy is the word for it...maybe?

However, the poor little thing has an ear infection, likely due to her previous months spent roughing it outdoors.  We of course fussed and fretted over her but had to admit it was beyond us so took her in to be examined.  Her vet had a look, took a swab and after checking under the microscope, declared there was an infection, (not mites, yay!...yay?), and prescribed ear drops.

Have you EVER tried to give a cat ear drops????  The vet made it look so easy when she administered the first ones to show us how.  But then again, she sort of seems like the Disney version of Snow White in the woods with animals.  Actually, come to think of it, I am pretty sure I now remember her singing and a few bluebirds and butterflies lighting on the windowsill while bunnies and squirrels gathered outside, just below the window, gazing upward wistfully as they listened.

It really didn't look like that when we gave it a go ourselves at home the next day.

Both of us were holding her down while she struggled and fought against us.  We got down on the floor with her.  I attempted to fold back her ear, twist the cap off the bottle, and get the drops in her ear, all with one hand.  The rest of my body was being utilized in the effort to keep the cat from (a) getting away and (b) shredding us to bits.  I was sitting on the ground with both my legs wrapped around her and my free hand trying help my husband who was also trying to hold her down, with both hands.  I am not sure why, after this ordeal our cat is not completely bald.  The fur flew everywhere.  At one point, it was so bad, I don't think we could see each other through the fur fog.  In fact, I may have administered the feline ear drops into my husband's nostrils.  We will never really know.

As we had to do this twice a day for a week, I got so good at it that I no longer needed help and got it done in under a minute.  With very little struggle from Miss Pissy Pants.  It didn't clear up so it became two weeks with the drops.  Still no improvement.  Next was new drops.  And still not any better.  At least Her Royal Highness seemed to have grasped what it was we were trying to do and accepted her fate gracefully after a while.

Since it didn't clear up, the last resort we were dreading was now inevitable.  Our princess had to go in, be sedated and have her ears cleaned/flushed out.  A culture would be sent to PEI for analysis and the verdict would tell us exactly what strain we are dealing with and thus what antibiotics she should be on.  (Did I mention the bank account yet?)

I also decided to ask them to check a lump she had on her leg; I had noticed it a few days after we had gotten her but forgot about it thinking it might have been a blood blister that just healed up into a bump.  (Side note - at the previous vet, when we got her vaccinations, she fought so hard against the needle that she bent it after they had poked her with it, therefore I had assumed it was scar tissue.)  They called me at work to let me know she was fine and waking up from sedation and that the lump was not scar tissue at all but a pellet from a pellet gun.  I couldn't believe it!  I spent the rest of the day fantasizing about grabbing the pellet gun from the people in my fantasy who were shooting defenceless cats, then shooting them in the leg so they would understand what kind of pain they were inflicting.  Either that or condemning them to administering ear drops to really resistant cats.  Er...I mean I spent the rest of the day completely buried in and focussed on my work.

I neglected to mention our car.  (What does our car have to do with our cat?  Oh, read on!)

The morning I was taking Her Regency in for her appointment, I put her in the car, got in then noticed a crack in the windshield on her side.  It was small, near the bottom and was definitely not there before.  I shrugged and made a mental note to have that checked before it got any bigger.  Then I started driving.  And the crack got bigger.  It was alive and very curious to know what was out there, beyond its little area, so proceeded to stretch itself across the entire windshield over to my side.

I had to remind myself to look at the road, not this crack that had taken on a life of its own out of the blue.  And to pick my jaw up off my lap lest I swallow the steering wheel in front of me.  I grappled with whether or not I should continue on to the vet.  I wanted the crack to stop moving across the glass, I was afraid that the whole thing would cave in on me as I continued on the highway.  But most of all I had to get the cat better, so onward I went.  All the while, I could swear I was seeing faint dollar signs floating in my field of vision and could hear them sweetly whispering goodbye to me as they faded into nothingness.

This brings me to the conspiracy theory; my firm belief that our cat and our car are in cahoots.  In January, not too far off from when we had the cat spayed, the battery in our car died and had to be replaced (we had the car for about six months at that point).  In March, a little after we started with the cat's ear drops, I took the car in for its oil change/tire rotation and was informed that the brakes in our car were almost down to 50% wear and we would need new ones probably by the next oil change date.  And now, the cat was going in for another expensive procedure and voila, our windshield needs replacing.   I am seeing a pattern here.  Our beloved kitty had better not come down with an illness and die on us.  We really need our car for getting around!  I have never owned so expensive a pet nor so expensive a car in my entire life!

But it is not all doom and gloom.  Snow White kindly removed the pellet from our poor little girl's leg, stitched her up and put her on what I can only assume is the best painkiller on the planet.  And while we talked about it at the front counter and I examined the pellet she put in a container for us, I got ready to pay and not one mention was made on the invoice with regard to the pellet or painkiller (and I know she was on one because no cat's pupils stay that dilated while the cat wears an expression between utter fascination with and slight fear of everything for over 24 hours straight).  I wanted to run behind the counter and hug her!  (Snow White, not the cat.)

And today after picking up my car, I was apologizing to my debit card for being so abusive lately, and got ready to slide the chip in the machine.  The sales guy at the counter heard me and impulsively snatches the machine back out of my hands saying, "Let's give you a discount on that."  I thought I was going to cry with joy as he gave me the new amount.  I got in my car and drove home...although I am almost certain I floated home because I almost didn't notice the bumps of the rough terrain that makes up the roads in spring here.  I couldn't wait to tell my story about the discount when I looked down and realized...they vacuumed the car for me!!  And cleaned every window there was in my vehicle!

So after trying to laugh at and make jokes about our plight with all these crazy expenses that reared their ugly heads and stripped us of any money to do anything at all until the next pay period, now I can really laugh and feel totally grateful!  And while this might not really, truly be the best day ever...I know I have had even better days in my life...right now I am going to ride the wave of this feeling that this is THE BEST DAY EVER!

Little tiny acts of kindness can make a world of difference and I cannot wait for my chance to do something for someone too!